"I Don't Like School!"

TODAY'S ACTIVITIES

• "Threading" Toothpicks
• Pouring
• Bottles and Tops

So I know I recently sort of disparaged the "live slow" mentality that prevails among the islanders here on St. John, but there is something to be said for taking your eyes off the prize and getting out of the fast lane. (Eek! Sorry for that mixed metaphor. Hopefully you get the gist.) When I've undertaken a new project, I, like most Americans, have a hard time not fixating on achieving The Goal as quickly and efficiently as possible. I can "enjoy the journey" with the best of them when there's nothing really at stake, but when I'm trying to accomplish something I'd rather fast forward through said journey and then sit back and behold the fruits of my labor. Well, The Goal in question here is of course the education of my child, and I can now say with no measure of uncertainty that I am sure to go insane if I don't start loving me some scenery. We've just embarked on an odyssey and Penelope is still a long ways away.

As you can guess from today's title, school was a bit of a struggle today. My son, probably like pretty much every other rookie preschooler on the face of the planet, spent some time testing the pliability of the newly established rules of school. There are really only three new maxims that I've asked Parker to assimilate for the purpose of our homeschool. My husband and I have been hammering home--excuse me, gentling reminding our son of--the other, more standard strictures (no hitting, no screaming, no throwing or climbing indoors, say please and thank you, blah blah blah) basically since he was born. The new rules for school are: (1) all school materials stay on the shelves except those that pertain to the activity in progress, (2) Parker is responsible for taking the materials to his work space and then returning them when the activity is completed, and (3) each school activity must be completed before the materials are returned to their spot on the shelves. I have to say, these "new rules" should have seemed at least a little familiar to my son. We have been loosely enforcing the "put your toy away when you're finished playing with it before you take out a different toy" edict at home for a while now, to a certain extent because I knew it echoed the Montessori behavioral guidelines. And yesterday and the day before, Parker was still content to defer to my suggestions (e.g., "Want to put those toothpicks back in their container?") since the whole homeschool enterprise was so novel to him. Well, not today.

We started out auspiciously enough this morning. As it was nearing time for school, I told Parker, "Hey, bub, in ten minutes it'll be school time, OK?" He looked up from playing with a couple of his trucks and said, "Oooh! I'm going to do the toothpicks first! And then I'm going to do some more pouring!" I pulled out the shelves, made sure everything was ready and then let Parker ring the bell. He did indeed begin with the toothpicks, and was having a grand time, explaining to me that Baby Toothpick was going to join Mommy and Daddy Toothpick in the glass jar. After a bit, though, he accidentally spilled a bunch of toothpicks. At this point (and without picking any of them up) he stated, "I'm going to do pouring now," and got up to get the pouring materials. I removed my figurative muzzle and calmly reminded him that the toothpicks need to be put away before he can get out the pitcher, cup and sponge. Stubbornness ensued, and eventually he moaned, "I'm too tired to clean up the toothpicks," and lay down first on the floor, then on the couch and finally on his bed. Now, I'm sitting there, completely conflicted. Do I transform into

Taskmaster Mommy, haul him out of his bed and stand there sternly, arms akimbo, while he dutifully puts away the toothpicks? Or do I say to myself, "Abort!" and cancel school for the day, lest my son associate negative feelings with homeschool and me? (Hainstock even includes a paragraph in "Teaching Montessori in the Home" about how school should "stop immediately" if it suddenly becomes "a chore.") In the end, I chose the path of nonresistance; which is to say, I stayed where I was, sitting on the floor, and waited until Parker came out of his room and rejoined me. (OK, I did get up to take a picture of the spilt toothpicks. I couldn't resist.) He picked up the toothpicks and performed the activity for several minutes more.

I'd like to say that everything was peachy after that, but school remained a struggle for both of us today. Parker would appear eager to start an activity, apply himself for about five minutes (and well--he'd definitely progressed from yesterday), then jump up and over to the shelves, neglecting to replace the materials he'd been working with. We butted heads. I explained to him that school has special rules (namely, we put things away) and at some point the inevitable happened; he shouted, "I don't like school!" My feelings were hurt, but at the same time a little voice in my head calmed me down by reminding me that every kid says those words some time, some kids ad nauseum. I didn't draw out the school session but, with life skills like perseverance and follow-through in mind, didn't cut it short either, and afterwards sat my son on my lap and tried to talk with him about how school had been a struggle for both of us. I restated my love for him as well as my excitement about starting school with him... And then he began playing with some cars and I began repeating my new mantra to myself, "Enjoy the journey."

(Another casualty of school. All in the name of learning, right?)