My Son, the Mule

TODAY'S ACTIVITIES:

• Hardware Busy Board
• Using Tongs
• Transferring
• Pouring

This "Parker, Parker, Quite Contrary" phase is seriously going to drive me nutso (and I wasn't exactly working with a full set of marbles to begin with). My son asked to do school at least five times over the weekend. Guess what he said this morning when I cheerfully exclaimed, "Now it's time for school!" That's right, the dreaded "But I don't like school!" Then, precisely because I encouraged him to work with them, he refused to touch the new sensorial activities. I couldn't help feeling frustrated while watching my son in school today; it really seemed like he was slightly bored by the practical life activities he'd chosen to revisit. I'm almost tempted to try reverse psychology on him. "No, Parker, don't do the fabric activity! And don't do the sandpaper activity! Oh, and definitely don't brush your teeth and don't get dressed and don't go to sleep, either!" I mean, it worked for Mary Poppins, right? It seems to me that parenting requires either wiles (for example, sneaking some clothes on a kid who has adamantly refused to get dressed the second he's engrossed in play) or rigidity (the "you will get dressed right this minute, OR ELSE!" approach). If you haven't guessed by now, I'd much rather do some creative thinking than behave like some sort of strict schoolmarm. I'm not sure I'm ready to resort to reverse psychology, though; it seems like an awfully manipulative way to mother. So I'll just keep on being patient (and a wee bit wily), and sooner or later my son will stop impersonating a mule. (Sooner would be nice.)

In light of his current stubbornly contrary streak, I've been frequently fighting the urge to dangle a carrot in front of my son whenever I want/need him to do something (school included). It'd be so much easier to just barter with him; to offer a treat or a toy in exchange for his cooperation and acquiescence. But the long-term effects of Parker associating learning with extrinsic rewards would be devastating to my aim of engendering a "quest quotient" in him. He should want to learn because he enjoys it and because it fulfills him, not out of some desire to either please me or earn a reward. If there's one thing this homeschooling experience keeps teaching me, it's to let go of any personal agendas I have. I wanted to do sensorial activities this morning. Well, it's his education! It's like cooking for my son: I can put yummy, healthy meals in front of him everyday, but I can't force him to eat. In fact, he ingests significantly less anytime I start to sound even a little beseeching. ("Don't you want to eat just a little banana?") I'll keep dragging out our school shelves, and putting the materials in front of him. He'll eat something (sensorial) eventually.